I hate it when my technology tries to intervene…

This has happened a few times, no matter what I’ve used. And today it happened again.

I was in full writing mode. My fingers were working up a sweat of their own as they whizzed around the keyboard of the computer, and then all of a sudden the freakin’ internet crashed and now I’ve lost it all (I was using the website writer.bighugelabs.com since I’ve still not forgiven Microsoft Word for letting me down in this way). I had written a good couple of thousand words, and it’s all gone. Usually Writer automatically saves your work, but obviously not this time.

GAHHHH! I hate my own technology sometimes. I was furious. I felt like throwing the damned computer out of the window and just smashing it hard against a brick wall over and over again. It took a HECK of a lot of biscuits and cheese on toast and cereal to calm me down! It had been going so swimmingly – obviously too well. And now it’s all gone. And worst of all, the window has closed – I can’t even remember what it was about properly! I usually try to offer myself the whole it-wasn’t-meant-to-be thing – that my technology was simply stopping me from writing a story before I finished it and decided that it was pants, making me feel sick as I delete it – but the theory of Fate is so overrated in my head right now.

My mind just keeps retorting, “What right has my technology got to decide for me if this was not going to be a good story?”

To be quite honest, I actually had a beautifully warm feeling that this was going to be a good story – a great one in fact. I just can’t help but feel bitter and so very annoyed.


Okay, I’m done ranting. Now hopefully that terribly overrated Fate will be a dove sometime and bring back to me what was stolen…

Sorry for my rant. Keep smiling for me!

Cowgirl Rant!

I love the American TV series ‘Dallas’, and was heartbroken like everyone else had been the first time round when Bobby was killed by Katherine Wentworth. So of course, when I heard that they brought Bobby’s character back at the end of the series, I was ecstatic. The whole series had been a dream, which I found fair enough. But HELL I was disappointed with Pam’s reaction when she woke up and found Bobby in the shower.

Don’t get me wrong, at first the writers had got it right – the first thing she did was walk away from him, looking as though she’d seen a ghost. But when he confronted her she was just like “Oh, it was a dream” and that was pretty much the end of it.

HELLOOOOOO! She had gone through a heck of a load of grief getting over Bobby’s death, Mark had come back to her alive and in remission, she had even married Mark. And she just dismisses it all like that? Who does that? Doesn’t she care that this means that Mark is still missing? Doesn’t she care about all the pain she felt for…I dunno how long?

It does annoy me when writers are lazy…

Does a kiss make you a slut?

Hokay, so on Friday night me and some friends decided to make use of our new 18-year-old booties and hit the clubs, and I pulled. Some guy asked me to dance and we kissed. A lot. We exchanged numbers and all and since then I’ve realised that maybe relationships at the moments aren’t my thing. I’m 18 – I feel too young to be committing to serious relationships like everyone else. I want to enjoy being young, and Friday night helped me realise that.

The only problem is that when I told my friends this, I got this response:

“Isn’t that a bit…slutty?”

Hold it just a second.

I looked up the word slut on the Internet, and this was the definition it came up with: “A slovenly or promiscuous woman.” So basically a woman who has casual sex with lots of people, yes? How does a kiss – a snog even – with a guy at a club make me a slut? It’s not like I’m going to sleep with any guy I meet at a club. A kiss is a kiss – no big deal. Sex on the other hand is an amazing gift, an out-of-body experience, and I wouldn’t cheapen it by sleeping with random guys. That would make me a slut.

It just makes me angry at how there are still narrow minded people in the world. Why are we expected to go all out committed when we start something with another person? Why does it have to be a relationship where it’s all or nothing? Aren’t we too young to all be thinking like that?

Correct me if I’m wrong and I am being a slut, but I don’t see what harm there is in just staying single, and having casual ‘moments’ with other people.

I’m baaaack!

Did you miss me?

Yes, I’m back from South Africa. Well, I have been since last Sunday but I’ve been so busy catching up at school and what with exams in two weeks’ time…ARGH!

Two more months of hell then I’m outta that hole!

Until I go on to do my English A Level of course.

Yup, that means I have decided to pursue my writing career. I can get to Engineering whenever the hell I like, but writing books and FILMS kinda needs to get ahead with now! It’s funny how I’ve dismissed my passion for writing for so long and only now, since I have next to no time to actually do my writing, have I decided how much it means to me. Hell guys, all I’ve ever wanted to be able to do is read and write; when I was three and still in nursery, while all the other kids drew pictures for their parents, my mum got letters from me. Doesn’t it count for something that I still love to write?

Anyway, that’s not the point of this post. South Africa was IMMENSE! I loved it. I’ve been learning Afrikaans as well (Goeie naand my vriende! That means ‘Good evening my friends’), which is getting on my friends’ nerves, but oh well. They’re only jealous!

So hopefully you’ll be treated soon with a new chapter of ‘The Long Way Home’, but as I say things are pretty intense at school since it’s the last two months left. Gee, I’m freaking out!

Well, ciao folks, peace out, aaaand keep smiling!


“What’s wrong with me?” Nothing!

It feels odd, and somewhat sickening, to think that I was inspired to write this after learning that a boy I know was attacked in public due to his sexual orientation, and was reduced to thinking the only way out was to commit suicide. Luckily he was found in time, but at fifteen years old death should be the last thing to enter his mind. I was horrified when I found out about the attack on him, and it troubles me to think that there must be many others, of all ages, who feel the answer to their problems is suicide. And how many have actually succeeded?
The majority of people, if not all, understand and have experienced the feeling of fear. Whether that fear has been as a result of a nightmare, an instinct, a phobia, or maybe even a near death experience, most have come across it. Some experiences of fear are due to other people, usually because that person doesn’t like the victim who possesses the source of their anger, hatred, or whatever else that prompts them to treat that person wrongly, for whatever reason. Sometimes it’s a group of people who are persecuted. This can be a group of friends at school or work who others don’t like because they’re arrogant, or they’re lazy, or simply because they’re different.
Different. There is so much prejudice and discrimination for being different. Be the only Goth at your school and you’re a potential target for bullies. Be the only female, or male, at your work and you could be the butt of every joke. Be the only black or white person, gay or straight person – if you are different, then you are at risk of becoming a victim due to other people’s views, therefore causing you to be subjected to that feeling of fear. It’s not fair, but unfortunately that’s the way it is.
Of course, fear isn’t always due to just intimidation. According to Home Office Statistics, a total of 48,127 hate crimes were recorded from 1st January to the 31st December 2010 by all police forces in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. 39,311 of these attacks were racist, 4,883 were homophobic attacks, and 1,569 were attacks on people because of their disabilities. What troubles me the most is not the numbers, but the lack of a rational answer to the simple question of why. Why would someone want to hurt another person because they’re not like them?
I’m sorry, scratch that. Why would someone want to harm, maybe even kill, another person just for being themselves?
What are they trying to do? Beat the ‘wrongness’ out of them? Beat the black out of a black person; the white out of a white person; the gay out of a gay person? It’s hardly possible to remove all the ‘different’ people from the world. Homophobes, racists, sexists and all other forms of discriminating people seem to think that everyone in the world should be exactly the same – that’s my opinion anyway. If a company – Apple for example – were given a project to complete, would it be accomplished to the high standards we are used to if the staff all had the same qualification and abilities? They need the people who specialise in design. They need the people who specialise who specialise in finance.
It sounds ridiculous to think of members of a company being treated differently just because they specialise in a different part of a project, doesn’t it. Yet it seems to be perfectly okay to victimise people who have a different gender, race, religion or sexuality. Being different is what makes you you. The human race would be such a boring species if not for the variety and unorthodoxy of individuals.
I’m not saying that people should be direct and in-your-face about their differences, far from it. After all, that’s practically as bad as being prejudiced. I’m merely saying that people should be free to embrace their originality, find their place in the world, and be who they truly are. To be unique is a good thing, not a thing to be ashamed of, and I wish more of the population would realise that.
So if you are thinking, “What is wrong with me?” the answer is simple: nothing. There is nothing wrong with you. Be your own person, and in return allow others to do the same.

‘Sup, ‘sup, ‘suuuuup!

Meow and howdy!

Je voudrais un croissant s’il vous plait – moi j’ai faim!

Gosh, been so busy this week! Been drowning in coursework and homework, and then there’s work and my voluntary work for Derian House. I’ve struggled to find any time to do any writing, but I will treat you to the first chapter of my novel ‘The Long Way Home’. It’s about a teenage boy who has to come to terms with the fact that he’s gay and find his place in life where he feels accepted for who he is, and can call home. I guess at times it can be considered a little soap opera, but…I’ll let you decide as you read more and more of it.

Otherwise, life hasn’t been filled with the most interesting of events. In my very little free time I’ve been slobbing around, buying punk rock jewellery on eBay because that’s how I seem to roll these days (I need to stop buying so much on there…). Oh, I’ve also been writing a lot of poetry, because again, that’s how I roll.

Anyway, without further ado, I’ll post Chapter One of ‘The Long Way Home’ for y’all. Hope you like it.

Keep smiling!


Stomp stomp, I’ve arrived!

Hello there, and welcome to my blog! This is my little den to write any stories, poems, or rants that I have falling off my fingertips at the time, and which you can read and either compliment or criticise. I need someone to tell me to get my head out of the clouds if that’s all I’m doing after all.

Warning: this blog is NOT about how I bit a piranha who had mistaken my toes for sausages… Good times… No. It’s a metaphor. If you have any bonkers idea what it means, please don’t hesitate to comment with your theory. I would lurrrrve to hear some of these!

I’m also hoping to cast and direct a play I’ve written, so fingers crossed that will actually happen, then you can read me gloating about how well it’s going…or whining about how crap it’s going. One or the two. Maybe you’ll even be treated to videos to do with it, and other projects that I get involved in later on in life.

Hokay, I will shut up now and you can tell me to piss off. Then you can live your life, I can have my whiskey, and we can continue the show ‘Who’s Drunk, Who’s Not & Who Eats Bananas’. Bananas? Where did that come from?

I’ll be tapping soon. Ciao folks!


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