I guess this means goodbye, 2012

I have a lot to be happy about this year. I was able to afford a plane ticket to visit my family in South Africa for the first time in fifteen years…even turned 18 over there. I petted cheetahs, white and yellow lions and white tigers, and actually got the chance to bond with my Auntie Monica, which means a heck of a lot to me. Meanwhile in England, I’ve been given the chance to intern in India for two months in the summer, I’ve FINALLY finished my Hell Levels (sorry, A Levels) and I’m now at university studying Aerospace Engineering (I discuss more about my year here).

Now this year, 2012, I didn’t really do the whole New Year’s Resolution thing (personally I consider New Year’s Day to be a bit like a wedding – a day where people make promises they can’t keep), but since we’re turning another page I think I’m going to try and keep to some…goals, as opposed to resolutions:

1.  Treat my body better. Now I’m not a slut, so if it was something inappropriate that first came into your mind, think again. I want to treat it better in the sense of healthy eating, exercising more. That kind of rubbish that sucks balls (thanks, now you’ve made me inappropriate!). Only I’m not going for the whole “I’m gonna eat at least five portions of fruit or veg a day” because I know I won’t. Instead, I’m going to try cutting down to two choccies/treats a week and exercise for at least an hour at least twice a week. Every two months I’m able to do that properly, I’ll treat myself to two boxes of brownies, because then I’ve got a reason to stick to it.

2. Gain some experience. I want to be an engineer, yet if you mentioned horsepower, mid-engines or transmissions to me, my face would be blank. 2013, I’m going to start asking garages nearby if I can learn from them and work for them for free. I’ll also start reading more motor vehicle magazines so I don’t seem like a total dingbat when I ask around.

3.  Organise my ass. What with my degree, my job, LUTheatre, streetdance, LUSH radio, writing, and my hopes to help out in a garage, I’m really gonna need to draw up a schedule to follow so that I don’t let myself down, or anyone else – I let you guys down since I still haven’t finished those two stories for y’all. So yeah, hopefully by being more organised I’ll find more time to write stories for you guys.

What are other people’s goals/resolutions? Let me know in the comments section. In the meantime, happy new year and bring on 2013!

Keep smiling!


My life is over

Adulthood has given me an early Christmas present: a slap in the face in the shape of a filling. Yes, after 18 years of having perfectly healthy teeth, I had to have my first filling today. It sucked balls. There’s nothing like having the numb feeling and metallic, dusty taste of failure in your mouth; I have failed that tooth, and now – at 18 – I have a damned filling.

Also, since the craze had calmed down a little, I had decided to see what all the fuss was about a certain book called ’50 Shades Of Grey’. Pfft! More like ’50 Shades Of WTF’! I’d thought to myself before reading, “How bad can it be?”. 123 pages in, I feel traumatized beyond repair and have given the copy back to my mother, murmuring, “I can’t even…I can’t even…I’ll go back to my Steven King novels”. The writing is dreadful (I can imagine E.L. James didn’t even know what a thesaurus was) and the words were so bland they were boring me to tears even before the more erotic stuff came to burn my eyes out of their sockets. Nope, erotic novels are definitely not for me, especially erotic novels inspired by freakin’ Twilight!

The movie shall basically be porn. Enjoy fellas!

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all, and I will hopefully be able to post finished stories by the end of the day for you all seeing as I’ve failed to meet this first deadline. Writer’s Fatigue is setting in again…

Merry Christmas, everyone!

At least the turkey’s fat!

Can’t say the same for this Santa’s sack! Seriously, it’s past midnight, Christmas Eve, I’m wrapping presents, aaand there are many people who I still need to buy gifts for.


People who don’t know me are probably thinking, “Well surely you’ll only see most of them AFTER Christmas anyway”. That’s not true. It is a tradition for me to play Santa on Christmas Eve, travelling on foot through five towns giving gifts to my friends. And feed the homeless (but I do that anyway). Why oh why did I leave Christmas so late this year?

And I need to finish my Christmas present to you guys as well! Yes, since you’ve all been amazingly supportive in viewing IBitThePiranha – a blog which must’ve really disappointed you at times due to the lack of biting piranhas…not to mention lack of posts – I’m rewarding y’all with at least two new stories! I’m too kind! After Christmas I might even treat you guys to my very first (and probably last) video. If this does happen, don’t expect too much – I stammer, I’m a total goon, and I’ll probably only be boasting about what I got for Christmas because I’m a brat like that.

Of course what’s more important than Christmas presents is family. I only got home from university yesterday, and I cannot tell you how great it feels to be back with my Mumma, brother and Grannyma. My dog hasn’t let me out of his sight since! I think he must’ve missed me.

I hope you all have an amazing Christmas filled with love and the wonderful smell of home cooking…or take out if it’s bad! I hope that you all get the gifts that you wish for, and are able to appreciate the gifts that maybe you didn’t wish for, and most of all I hope you will not throw out the neck of the turkey because that’s the best bit!

‘Till later today, old chums, keep smiling!


Film Review: Sinister

Would you move into a house that was the scene of a whole family’s murder and a little girl’s disappearance only nine months before?
That’s what true-crime author, Ellison Oswalt, does. Determined to find the answers to this mystery, and write another bestseller on the grisly deaths, he and his oblivious family move into the house. But when Ellison discovers a box of Super 8 home videos in the attic that hold footage of the gory deaths of families in their own homes, including the family that lived in the house previously, things start to get a little…sinister…
Now I’m not going to spoil it for people who have yet to see it, but I will tell you one thing. I have watched a lot of horror movies in my time, and I haven’t batted an eyelid as I eat my snacks and watch the characters go through hell. But this film…wow! My friend (who also loves horrors) and I were curled up into tight little balls in our chairs in the cinema. It was a horror movie that was actually scary!
Maybe I found it scarier than other horror films because it was the first one I’d seen at the cinema, I dunno. But the plot, the delivery of the story, the acting…it was all so amazing. It wasn’t predictable; I was constantly guessing. I jumped, I gasped, and I hugged my knees ’til they ached. I loved it! Can’t say my friend enjoyed it – she was peeking through her fingers for most of the film. The point is, Scott Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill wrote something fresh, and took the story down some really interesting twists and turns.
And the music used! Oh my God, that freaked me out all on its own!
Of course, the film isn’t flawless. It isn’t as amazing as ‘Insidious’ and it undermines itself in areas. For example, the idea for Ellison to move his wife and two children into a house where such a recent crime took place can perhaps be considered a lazy path drawn by the writers to introduce the Super 8 films. Would a father really move his family into a crime scene for his benefit? It’s more likely for the answer to be no. But Ethan Hawkes’ portrayal of Ellison made sure I didn’t bat an eyelid at first concerning this. Ellison appears to be a fairly egoistic man who knows what to say to make people – himself included – believe that he is doing something selfless and morally good, so although it is shocking that he would do such a thing, it is somewhat believable that he did do it. He says he’s after justice, yet really he’s just desperate to be famous again.
Another thing is the usual, “Will you PLEASE turn on the lights!” Why do the characters in horror movies forget that there are lights that can be switched on when mysterious noises are coming from inside the house? It’s infuriating! Another thing is that the movie only scrapes the skin in showing how staying in the house is affecting the children, a factor that seems to be very important for the end of this movie.
Overall though, if you like horror films, are sick of the usual gore and are looking for something that has you either on the edge of your seat or curled up tightly in it, watch Sinister. Though it is far from perfect, it is a film you can really get into.

Look who’s on the Blogger!

My good friend Adam has just made a promising new blog, Adam Made A Funny, and trust me when I say he’s funny! So yeah, follow him, nurture him like a little seed and he will grow and bloom out laughter for all!

That is so beautifully poetic.
Link to his blog is HERRRREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link to his YouTube channel is HERRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep smiling!

Breaking Up These Days

Yup, I saw this just now and I remembered how much it sucks to be dumped via social networking.

I was dumped in March via Facebook:

So we have to ask ourselves:

Why are the generations becoming such heartless bitches?

Seriously, why do people think that it’s okay to do this? It’s one of those things that lacks sincerity and sensitivity in what could have been a very meaningful relationship to the other person. Luckily for me, my relationship had only lasted…what…not even two whole months, so it wasn’t that heartbreaking. I didn’t feel sad or hurt or anything like that, just disappointed. Disappointed that, although he may have needed to break up with me, he didn’t do it the decent way. Why couldn’t he send me a text saying that he wanted to talk and dumped me face to face? Why did he think it would be alright to just wake up the next morning and find out, “Oh, I was dumped last night”?

It’s just common decency, surely, to dump them face to face. I wouldn’t have even minded if it was on the phone. But to dump someone via social networking is just…it’s the coward’s way out.

If you’ve been dumped via social networking, or if you’ve dumped someone via social networking, or you just have an opinion on the matter, feel free to leave a comment.

Keep smiling!


Song Of The Week!

Yeahhhhhh! I think I’m going to start a ‘Song Of The Week’ post for you guys (ooooh you’re gonna hate me for it!). Some of the songs you’ll know, some of them you won’t. Some you’ll like, others you’ll hate. I like a lot of different types of music.

So this one I doubt many people will know. It’s called ‘When Your Body Breaks’ by Max Vernon. I love the harmonies and message it delivers: when you feel yourself falling apart, remember “you’re gonna be fine, but it’ll take time”. It’s beautiful.

Let me know what you think of it in the comments section!


The choice is yours…

A shepherd’s failure;
A lamb so fragile
But the wolf he grins
As he breaths in
The hurt and anger
And yet you expect
For me to watch?
A devil’s grin
Claws scratching at heart;
Your tears don’t smile
With your lips…
We whisper to you
But he whispers louder
A song that serenades
And woos and rips you
From gentle grasp
Do you feel like a rag doll?
Or do you purposely
Write an ‘F’ on my words
And ride winged snakes
Into the night?
Do you paint a clown
Upon my face?
Or wear earplugs in the day
And dance to his song?

Do you expect me to wear
A blindfold you hold?
Expect me to laugh

And smile with his smile?
Do you expect me to offer him
A hand to slice you?
For it’s your blood or his
And I’ll be damned if it’s yours.